The Bitter End

by Jamie R Hawkins

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1.
Show Of Me 03:57
In a dark, dark house, On a dark, dark hill, In a dark, dark room you'll find him, waiting 'til All the dark ruminations in his dark, dark heart, Keep him running 'round in circles 'til he's Right back at the start. Left alone to his devices and a stack of alcohol, He keeps digging at himself until he's swallowed by the hole, He don't need your observations, he won't heed your good advice, He prefers to play the victim in these tradgedies he writes. He requires a captive audience each day To get the best from his perfrormance as he steps out on the stage. If you wanna get down you can depend on me And if you're coming around just bring your sympathy Come on in and enjoy, The Show Of Me On a dark December on a dark, dark night She resolved to put an end to this, and went looking for a fight, So she showed him all the scars upon her bright, bright heart Told him reaching out to someone else, would be the perfect place to start Then she tore down all the curtains, flung the doors and windows wide, And she turned on all the lights so he'd have nowhere left to hide, But he slipped into the shadows and they fit him like a glove Then she realised her best intentions weren't good enough. So she decided to come back another day 'Cos you can only help the helpless when they're ready to be saved If you wana get down you can depend on me And if you're coming around just bring your sympathy it's an opera of self-inflicted misery Come on in and enjoy, The Show Of Me Welcome to the show of me Yeah, Welcome to the show of me In a dark, dark house, On a dark, dark hill, In a dark, dark room you'll find him, waiting stil If you wana get down you can depend on me And if you're coming around just bring your sympathy it's an opera of self-inflicted misery Come on in and enjoy, The Show Of Me Welcome to the show of me Yeah, Welcome to the show of me
2.
When I was a boy no more than two or three Overcome with curiosity I slipped into your room because I had to see What it was like to be a man as big as my Dad Opened your wardrobe and I found your clothes Your suits and shirts all hanging neatly in a row I put one on because I had to know How it would feel to be a man as big as my Dad But your sleeves came down past my fingers And my little feet were swallowed by your shoes Then it suddenly occured to me I'd never be as big a man as you As big a man as you I'm older now with children of my own And so, apparently I'm fully grown But you're still the best man that I've ever known And how I wish I was a bit more like you Dad. Cos where you shine I always trip and fall You apply reason, I face demons using alcohol And you always find the time to see me through it all That's why I'll never be as big a man as you Dad Because your sleeves come down past my fingers And I'll never be enough to fill your shoes Every day it reoccurs to me I'll never be as big a man as you Oh, I do my level best to follow your examples To accept myself and love my fellow man And you make it look so easy and I'm hopeful that I'll get there Just as long as I keep doing all I can When you were talking to my son today I heard you ask him what he'd be if he could have his way It knocked my head off when I heard him say "Someday I'm gonna be a man as big as my Dad" So though your sleeves come down past my fingers And I'll never be enough to fill your shoes It's okay because in many ways I've always been as big a man as you And it's okay, because today I found a way to be as Big a man as You As big a man as you As big a man as you As big a man as you
3.
Without a precedence or warning It shocked me to my very core It drained the colour from my morning When I heard that you're not with us anymore And though we never saw it coming, I wasn't so surprised to learn, That you'd settled your accounts and left A note addressed to Whom it may concern And at first I was so angry To be among the last to know I felt treated like an outcast An unnecessary cruel and bitter blow Then I remember feeling guilty For not doing all I could have done And I spent the next few days and hours Waiting for the tears that wouldn't come Then I heard your voice inside me it said "Put aside your pain, 'Cos I'm better off on this side Where I'll never hurt again And you know you'll always find me where my memory remains Just around the corner waiting for your call Where no shadows ever fall" Last night I had a dream about you We were little boys once more In our pyjamas we went stealing through your garden To throw pebbles from the shore Your skin was like pale alabaster Your eyes were bruises on the snow And we played castles in the sand dunes Like the ghosts of who we were so long ago And we ran down among the groynes collecting driftwood on the way And we built ourselves a fire to chase the ocean chill away And we never spoke a word, we didn't need to anyway Because the starry skies above us said it all Where no shadows ever fall When the morning came to wake me there were tears upon my face And my bitterness and anger disappeared without a trace And my heart was full of gladness and my spirit full of grace because In many ways you'd never left at all You're Where no shadows ever fall You're Where no shadows ever fall You're Where no shadows ever fall
4.
Choose your moment, choose your next move carefully Choose your own path, and take your lessons with you Be the person, the person you set out to be Rise above the, the adversity And hope, against the odds Against the dying of the day Wooooo-oo-ooo Wooooo-oo-ooo Take your chances, take only what you really need But give it all back, when it's time to pay don't, Be distracted, by their bitter jealousies 'Cos they don't get you, so don't let them get to you Have faith, when all seems lost, when trouble brings you no reprieve Wooooo-oo-ooo, whenever Wooooo-oo-ooo, whenever life gets in the way, Dooooo-oo-ooo, whatever, gets you through the day Whatever Gets You Through The Day Take a picture, keep it for the memories, But don't forget there's, more to the forest than the trees Fight your corner, defend your integrity But know when to back down, and when to walk away And love, when love is scarce, Make your compassion your decree Fill your heart with honesty, and the truth shall set you free Wooooo-oo-ooo Wooooo-oo-ooo Wooooo-oo-ooo, whenever Wooooo-oo-ooo, whenever life gets in the way, Dooooo-oo-ooo, whatever, gets you through the day Wooooo-oo-ooo, whenever Wooooo-oo-ooo, whenever life gets in the way, Dooooo-oo-ooo, whatever, gets you through the day Whatever Gets You Through The Day
5.
Nicotine 03:43
There you are again, My old insistent friend Quicken in my blood A part of you remains, Like yellow finger stains Itch beneath my skin, Panic closing in Nicotine Nicotine Weave your subtle charms You temper me with calm And so eventually You get the best of me Sickened by my need Your appetite, my greed Panic closing in Need to breath you in Nicotine Nicotine There you are again My circle without end Inevitably You'll be the death of me Nicotine Nicotine Leave me unclean Nicotine Nicotine Nicotine
6.
This is the first time I've been in this situation And I appreciate how this must feel for you So I suppose it's time we had this conversation An opportunity to share our points of view Sometimes it's hard to see the closing of a chapter When there's no telling what the next one has in store But you can find another happy ever after And all you have to do is try another door All you have to do is try another door I'm not here to substitute someone who cannot be replaced I've obligations of my own but what I have is yours to take And I've a feeling we could be the best of friends Until the bitter end I understand there will be times when you will fight this And I accept we won't always see eye to eye But you can count on me whenever there's a crisis Among the last to leave, the first one to arrive This is just as much a learning curve for me as it's for you And I can't promise that I'll always know exactly what to do And though we'll have our disagreements now and then When there's trouble I will leap to your defence And fight until the bitter end Untill the bitter end So for everytime you're down and disconnected When the thunderclouds are blocking out your sun Remember you and I we're part of a collective Together there is nothing we can't overcome United there is nothing we can't overcome So I make a solemn oath to be the best friend I can be 'Cos I don't think you realise what you've already done for me When I'm broken you soon have me on the mend That's how I know that we'll remain the best of friends From now untill the bitter end Until the bitter end

about

The Bitter End – Jamie R Hawkins - The Swindonian Review (by Dave Franklin)

I’m sure there are just as many, if not more, acoustic, solo, guitar slingers around now than there ever has been. Sadly in this age where anyone on a gap year feels the need, and sadly the entitlement, to be a musician, the increased musical traffic has not resulted in an upsurge in quality songs from exciting songwriters. Thankfully we have people like Jamie R Hawkins, a narrative driven songster who flies in the face of the transient acoustic pop wannabe I have just described.

Remember when songs said something more than bedroom droning and of aspirations to be famous? Well, Jamie does and here he offers up another batch of songs forged from personal experience or at least personal observation. But more than that, they are songs that you can relate to, built around small kitchen sink dramas, universal emotions and everyday situations - honest stuff delivered with wit and wisdom and with his heart worn openly on his sleeve.

Jamie’s ability to handle a tune remains deft and confident, his poetic sense of place and situation remains strong and I’m glad to see that ‘As Big As You’ made it to this album. Out of all of the familiar scenes and scenarios he conjures via his songs it is this reflection on what it means to both be a dad whilst trying to live up to the benchmark set by your own childhood memories, that is such a powerful song, the one that when I first heard it played live made me realise just what a eloquent lyrical pathway Jamie walks.

References abound, as they are always going to, not because he is sailing too close to any other artists wind but because the musical ship he has built to steer himself through the often difficult waters of being a career musician is both as sleek and practical as those employed by much bigger names. There is something of Paul Simon in the jaunt of the words and Neil Finn always crops up about this point in any review I write of Jamie’s music - I also get the sense that these are the sort of songs that should have been the hallmark of Paul McCartney’s later career.

Any new release from Jamie is looked forward to and this certainly doesn’t disappoint, but it goes further than that. It reminds you that on any given night, amongst all the glitzy arena shows at one extreme and the Ed Sheeran wannabes playing to their mates at the other, if you search hard enough you will find a small pack of grass roots musicians delivering charming, clever and often beautiful songs about the human condition. Go and say hi to them, buy a CD, help them on their way…or at least help them earn the petrol money home, one of them might be Jamie and one day you will turn on the TV and be able to say, “see that guy there? I remember him when….”

Gig Monkey review: Jamie R Hawkins – The Bitter End
By Ed Dyer

Wiltshire singer /songwriter Jamie R Hawkins treads a traditional and straight path of acoustic folk-pop but, through deft song-writing based on personal experiences and observations, manages to elevate his work well above the average.

Very much an “everyman” artist, these are songs that are easy to relate to; soap-opera dramas and domestic struggles put to music. “As Big As You” is a cutesy but powerful number about comparing yourself to your father, childhood memories and facing your own responsibilities, “Nicotine” a love song to the world’s most popular narcotic.

The music is unsophisticated but nuanced, simple yet stylised and the perfect partner for the lyrics and the voice, which is where you will find the heart and soul of this record – it is wonderful to be presented with material from a writer who puts his words front and centre, who doesn’t get obsessed with clever music and breaking boundaries, who remembers that a song is an art-form based on singing, and therefore based on the words and the lyricism of the story.

This is a fantastic throwback to simpler times and simpler pleasures, a dose of rosy cheeked nostalgia and old-fashioned bardic song-writing, albeit updated for the 21st century.

If you want songs that are deep and meaningful essays then look elsewhere, if you want to listen something that is more about real life, that presents kitchen sink dramas in music form then get yourself some of this, it is an absolute joy.

PRESS QUOTES

"emotionally charged, poignant and witty acoustic pop-rock that reminds you of Crowded House or even Del Amitri, which is fine by me" - Dave Franklin, Secret Chord Records

"Bloody brilliant!....powerful, utterly original, articulate, heartfelt, emotional, very well constructed and superb in every way." - Richard Niles, Producer, Author, UK Songwriting Contest

"a heady combination of from the heart self analysis and universal truths, stark realities and street level wisdom" - The Swindonian

"(His) songwriting is strong and the delivery is often exceptional" - No More Division

"a blend of clever narratives and dexterous guitar slinging" - Songs Of Praise

"a great songwriter with a real ability to look at things from a slightly different angle. Also one of his songs makes my cry, and I’m not ashamed to admit it." - Phil Cooper, Number Nine Studios

credits

released April 7, 2017

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Jamie R Hawkins England, UK

Jamie R Hawkins is an Award Winning Singer Songwriter whose songs have won him critical acclaim in the UK and around the world - he has been described as "a powerful mixture of storyteller, philosopher and poet", his lyrics as "poignant and witty" and his performances, "emotive and captivating”.

"(His) songwriting is strong and the delivery is often exceptional" - No More Division
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